Leslie What’s story this week is perfectly indescribable in all the best of ways — we hope you have as much fun discovering the connections as we did. ~ Julian and Fran, October 8, 2023
The Inventor We May Learn Is More of a Conceptual Artist in Part Seven
by Leslie What
PART ONE
(Life Support)
CyberWormBoss® is a smart-worm nanotechnology that supervises bio-worm red wrigglers used in home vermiculture composting. CyberWormBoss helps regulate the temperature in the worm bin to prevent worms from drying out and dying due to hyperthermia and automatically adjusts pH balance when users compost too much citrus. Predators like centipedes, geckos, birds, and red mites are neutralized by our patent-pending technology. CyberWormBoss humanely keeps worms from escaping to the outside world should they find the vermiculture bin inhospitable. Users will save money by not having to replace red wrigglers as frequently and will avoid the heartache of destroying everything they’ve devoted their personal and professional lives to nurture and build.
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PART TWO
(Sticks and Stones)
My company is developing Curtain Hook Hair Extensions (patent pending) for people experiencing hair loss. Traditional extensions that rely on healthy hair as a base may not work for those with alopecia or brittle hair due to illness. Curtain Hook Hair Extensions attach to the scalp by way of filament hooks small enough, for all intents and purposes, to be invisible. The hooks are fitted with lidocaine tips to numb pain when inserted. Users can choose any texture or color of hair to hang from the curtain hooks and can easily change out hair for a variety of styles and looks, natural or exotic. As someone who has personally experienced hair loss, I understand the shaming, teasing, pity, and betrayal from strangers as well as those we trusted to take their marriage vows seriously, IN SICKNESS and in health.
Curtain Hook Hair Extensions will boost the self-confidence needed to help users feel normal again. Anecdotal evidence indicates that the extensions may aid in circulation and help forestall further hair loss or even reverse it. A Phase I clinical trial is set to begin in October. Research subjects are being solicited on the website.
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PART THREE
(Gaslighting)
I live in a building filled with bird people who had video cameras implanted inside their beaks. They strut through our shared hallways, arms akimbo like plucked chicken wings. They are arrogant, contemptuous neighbors. I hear them whispering to each other that I’m a sucker for losing my house and moving into their building, where I pay double their rent-controlled rent. They deny saying these things, of course, even though I’ve seen their joy in witnessing my downfall.
On the elevator, they flank me in order to peck at me from all sides until I bleed. They nip my shoulders, shit on my shoes. They stare at the uneven mounds on my chest. Their mockery trails me when the elevator doors open on the ground floor, and I run into the lobby and out to the street to get away. They post TikTok videos documenting my humiliation. Strangers laugh at seeing me bullied and broken. I would move somewhere else, but I still owe the lawyers I hired to protect my IP after the divorce. This experience has taught me that, while inventions can make our lives better, they can also destroy us.
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PART FOUR
(Defense Mechanisms)
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